Before that dreaded breakup occurs, you need to do everything that is in your power to do to try to make up with your lover! If you’ve been sensing for a while that things haven’t been going so great, and that some kind of separation seems to be inevitable, then now is the time to set forth your plan of action for saving the relationship!

A MUST: Take note of the tension in the relationship.

Whether or not you’re a writer or even a journaler (journalizer?), I want you to either whip out a notebook, or sit down at your computer with a text editor. Start writing and taking notes on:

  • When things seemed to start changing in the relationship. (When did it begin to go from “great” to “not so great.”)
  • Why the relationship changed. (E.g., Did you start getting fat? Did you start spending too much time at work? )

Check this out as kind of an example of the notes you could take. I’m going to try to write this in a mini-story format. (And this is fictional.)

So I guess it all started about seven months ago. I noticed it for the first time on the day that I was accused of being over-weight. I was playing volleyball with my friends and suddenly, taking a dive to dig out the ball, I found my physical shape to be inadequate to the task. One of my opponents, a friend since high school, pointed it out to me in front of everyone. “Lose some weight.” It shocked me! “JERK,” I said. “THERE’S NO WAY I’M OVER WEIGHT!”  But I knew I was…

Back at home, still stewing over this realization that had been thrusted into my face, I noticed I had begun to eat more also. I was eating more, drinking more, working more, working-out less. It didn’t seem to have an effect on my relationship until about a month later when my gf, over a meal, asked me if I had thought about going on a weight loss program. It hurt a little. She also told me that I had been working more, and giving her less attention. And I began noticing a strain in our relationship.

I didn’t realize it at the time, but the weight gain was not even the main thing. I had become sedentary, I had been working more, and had been less giving of my time and attention to my lover.

Stepping out of the comfort zone.

You don’t have to write a story, but it might help a lot if you did. Stories help us to put things into perspective, and they bring us to situational awareness in an experiential and profound manner unlike what happens when we hear facts and statistics.

We’re making these notes so that you can come to an understanding of the situation. Take your best of the “What’s” and the “Why’s” so that you will be able to take action! You’re going to have to try to reverse the effects of these things which have damaged your relationship.

As T.W. Jackson puts it, “YOU MUST BREAK THE PATTERN!”

You need an emotional reset so that you’ll be more level-headed in trying to restore the relationship with your lover. When you see your gf talking to a man who is in better shape, emotionally and physically, you get insecure and jealous. Now is the time to develop a plan of action so that you won’t worry about that. We need to make absolutely certain that your ex has not lost her attraction to you forever!

I strongly recommend “The Magic of Making Up” by T.W. Jackson because I believe it is the fastest, and most helpful guide showing you how to make things right with your lover. If your lover has become your ex, his guide will give you the knowledge you need to know how to get her back into your arms!

-Avery