Save My Marriage Today
Posted on January 22nd, 2010 in Uncategorized No Comments »
If you’re worried about your marriage and wondering what you can do to try to stop it from failing, from heading into a divorce, then pay attention.
No matter how many problems your spouse has, there’s always something you can do to work on your marriage. When you change, the marriage changes.
Decide to listen
Making the decision to listen to your spouse is a huge one.
The thing is, YOU have to take the initiative. Be strong and like Nike, just DO IT.
The idea of listening to your spouse for once might be hard because you feel like your spouse does not listen to you, right?
Well if things go on like that then you are going to run on pretty hard times concerning communication. Someone has got to be willing to take the first step, leave the old EGO behind, and just start communicating effectively.
You can do that by making the decision to listen.
When your spouse says something to you, don’t ignore them just because you feel that they’re being a BRAT (which may be true, but DARNIT aren’t you also?).
Decide to acknowledge
If your spouse won’t stop nagging or trying to fix the emotional problems, you are probably going to resent the idea that you have to acknowledge your spouse.
Acknowledge their efforts, listen, and try to understand what they are trying to say. When your spouse recognizes that you are showing a true willingness to listen and interact sincerely, you might see a change of attitude.
Decide to understand
Put aside your own issues for a second and think about what it might be like to have to struggle with the issues that your spouse struggles with. (Don’t laugh, don’t sneer, don’t roll your eyes.)
When you make this decision to be willing to understand your spouse, understand what they are saying, why they are saying it, you will start to make some true progress in communicating with them.
Your spouse can sense whether or not you are hearing them.
Decide to appreciate
We all need to be appreciated!
WE LONG FOR IT!
Find something, SOMETHING that you can appreciate about your spouse. Communicate that to them. This all starts somewhere! Be genuine.
Again, you have to leave EGO behind, put it on the line, and show that you do really care. What do you appreciate?
Doing these things, you’re stepping into your spouses shoes.
Imagine that your spouse has a movie playing in their head. This movie contains different scenes that play out with different actors and it all revolves around the way they see the world.
Are you willing to step into that movie? Are you willing to truly try to understand it? You have to!
Stop Nagging
Ladies, when you’re nagging all the time, your husband can’t hear you. AT ALL.
All he hears is your nagging tone and he shuts out your voice and everything you’re saying.
So stop nagging and start listening and appreciating!
Stop Fixing.
Guys, stop trying to fix everything. Most of the time when your wife presents an issue, or an emotional problem, she doesn’t want it fixed, she JUST WANTS YOU TO LISTEN!
If you would instead try to step into her shoes by listening and trying to understand, you would start being able to truly communicate again.
Start living.
Just do it, darnit!
And grab T Dub’s guide on The Magic of Making Up. It will help a lot!