Learn how to cure the desperation inside, even when you fear that it’s entirely too late.

The partner, realizing that not only has the relationship completely slipped out of his hands but that he never even saw it coming, relays to himself the memories. Could I have done anything to prevent this? Is it my fault? What did I do to push her away? He wonders if it all came down to trust. “Did I betray her?” he asks. “Did she leave because of my neglect?”

Hi, I’m Avery. It’s hard to know the reasons. Sometimes the reasons your ex gave you for the breakup are not the actual, true reasons for why it had to end. All the while you’re sitting there, trying to figure out if it’s just a matter of needed space, or if it’s truly over… forever! Is it just that your ex needed some time alone, or does the break up speak of some unfixable problem – like in a chess game where you’re put in checkmate – and it has ended your relationship.

Either way, it hurts! It hurts, because right now, you’re worried that it’s over. You’ve convinced yourself that your worst fear, that this relationship was your last chance and your last hope, will slowly become reality and the agonizing storm that rains down drops of depression on you for the rest of your days.

“Is my ex gone forever?”

The Future and Our Fears.

Generally situations work out to be less frightening than we had feared, but yet we endure more stress and our well being ends up getting taxed, as though we had spent a constant year under operation in the dreaded dentist’s chair. Moral: it’s going to be tough. However, your concern is not how hard it’s going to be, but what step to take next. You know that if it’s possible to get things worked out, that it will be worth it!

Taking the Next Step.

It’s likely that the next step you have to take is going to be the hardest one. I know that’s not the nicest thing to hear, but to be honest, it’s brutal!

Mentally prepare yourself to be willing to let go:

• Be willing to say that you are sorry. To admit to your mistakes. To be humble about all of it.
• To be aware that despite your best efforts, a reconciliation may never happen.

If you are truly able to let go of some of all the worry and anxiety, and if you are truly able to forgive… then you’ve gotten to a state that a LOT of folks have not. Most people are afraid of letting go; they want to try to retain whatever element of control that they thought they had. So great job, you!

Now Here’s What You CAN Do!

One of the things that you want to do very soon after a breakup is to communicate with your ex about the breakup. Now wait, I know what you’re thinking, “What could I say that isn’t going to get me into more trouble?” Well, now that you are in a state where you can say you’re sorry, where you are “willing to let go” if you absolutely have to, you need to accept the breakup. Try writing a handwritten note to your ex where you acknowledge the breakup and accept it. You want the tone of the letter to be very sincere, and you want to be brief and honest. Don’t try to assess blame or start an argument about anything. You could also briefly apologize and admit shortcomings.

So to summarize what you’re putting in this letter, you’re saying “I acknowledge the breakup, and I accept it. I know I have my faults… and you’re right.” Those two words, “You’re right,” are some of the hardest words to say in a relationship, because we’re so prideful and protective of our own ego. But getting to this point is pretty tough. It’s going to take a considerable amount of resolve, and it’s going to take some humility.

And here’s where I have to refer you to someone who’s a little more of an expert on the topic of “making up.” A fellow by the name of T.W. (T Dub) Jackson. T Dub has helped THOUSANDS of people in dozens of different countries:

• Learn the right words to say to get their lover back in their arms.
• Understand the fastest way to get right at their former lover’s heartstrings.
• Know the reasons why many reconciliation attempts fail, and how to INSTANTLY RECONNECT.

P.S.
Please don’t ever, ever forget that as hard and hopeless as things may seen right now… there are couples who get back together every day! Couples who get back together after the most brutal breakups you could imagine…

Maybe it’s just not over…

Avery Hotham